Most people appreciate connecting and having valuable conversations, learning the skill of effective conversations will save you time and reward you with better friendships.
Here are the 5 Simple Steps to Connecting with people and having better conversations.
1.Connect With YourSelf
To connect with others you must connect with yourself first, it’s like inviting someone to your house, before you invite them, you “put your house in order”. That way you remove the distractions and put more attention on your guest.
Connecting with yourself gives you the confidence to be yourself.
2. Meet Them Where They Are
Do you know that awkward feeling when you meet a new person? Usually, people are held back from making any effort to connect because you are new to them too.
Don’t wait for someone to take the initiative to start a conversation, while you are busy thinking why anyone isn’t talking to you, they are busy thinking the same.
Practice to make the first move to reach out to people and connect. When you do, ask a question and listen. Don’t interrupt them.
Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.~Anaïs Nin
Connecting is all about others and listening welcomes people. We like to impress others with who we are and what we do but that’s the very thing that drives them away when they feel it’s all about you and not about them.
Listening is one of the best things you can ever do for anyone. And as you listen, don’t listen to reply but rather listen to understand and when you speak, remember…
People hear your words but they listen to your attitude.
4. Believe In Them
It’s one thing to connect with people because you believe you have something to say, it’s another to connect with people because you believe they have something to teach you. Believe it or not, there’s always something you can learn from a person.
Do you know the vulnerability you have when connecting with a young child, you do it graciously with the intention of winning them over, right?
You express the value of your connection in the way you handle it. Come to their level and be ready to encourage them as well as learn from them.
People already have enough doubts to overcome, don’t be the source of more doubts.
5. Deal In Hope
I don’t know about you but l find it easy to talk to positive people, those who see the glass as half full, not the mourners of “it’s half empty.” Be mindful that your words carry weight, if you are going to speak, choose words that add value and encourage or build others.
Words can’t be undone, chose wisely. Most importantly, let your attention to them make them feel loved, valued and leave them encouraged.
People will forget what you did or what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
When you give people hope, you give them a future.
Practice these steps daily in your conversations and you will be amazed at how they build your friendships and connections with others.
I used to be nervous and held back but now connecting with new people and paying attention to conversations is one of my favorite things to do.
Overcoming the awkwardness and being interested in other people’s stories has been my secret ingredient in making friendships that will last a lifetime.
If you can only improve one thing in your conversations today, this is my one – listen, listen, listen. Pay close attention to people’s stories! In every story you listen to, there’s a friend.
Every new friend is a new adventure… the start of more memories.~Patrick Lindsay
Now go and connect.